Sorority row belongs in a sub-genre all its own, the moronic-horror movie. If that were true though I guess one could argue there should be a subgenre for smart-horror movies. Those are of course VERY few and far between.

Horror movies are by and far retarded and stupid due to the dumb characters who we don’t give a damn about because they are as stupid as broken glass(but not remotely as sharp!). First off, this is not a horror movie because we don’t care about any of the characters because they were all stupid enough to accidentally get one of their friends killed in one of the most bone-headed pranks ever, even for fictional college-age bimbos.

This is NOT a spoiler BTW because this was all seen in the damn trailer! Anyway, it’s not horror unless we care about the people who die, and we don’t. Their fate is arguably linked to their being stupid enough to get their friend killed. The circumstances under which this all happens is laughable if it weren’t so sad.

Anyway, the so-called horror is predictable, the deaths are ridiculous(shoving a bottle down a woman’s throat… really, and managing to kill a woman who has a shotgun before she pulls the trigger when the killer is across the room from her?). How the hell does a character in a robe have such great precision and stealth anyway when sneaking around and killing people? You can’t see his/her face and that sure as hell means their eyesight must be hindered somewhat! This leads to my other point. The horror is lost if it’s not the least bit realistic and turns out looking silly, dumb, and almost manages to add a new definition to the word asinine! Sorority Row is a waste of time unless you are really desperate for one of the stupidest horror movies since Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2. So if you like to watch grass grow, paint dry, or Bob Saget on Full house, you’ll love Sorority Row!

The movie starts off pretty quick. If your looking for Audrina Patridge then don’t blink. She does what she does best: laying on her back, saying little, pretending she’s dead, all for a big paycheck. Her cameo last all but less then fifteen minutes. Sorority sisters prank a brother of there sisters into thinking he slipped a girl a roofie and about to get lucky, but she pretends she’s dying and they drag her to the middle of nowhere. The brother really kills the girl and after much arguing and wasting of time, they dump her in the abandoned mine shaft. It’s been done before but then the movie just does a 360 and turns into a boring, lifeless film. No suspense was given and the kills were good but cut. Cut? Well, if you want to see them go extra bloody wait till the dvd is released in unrated, too scary for theatre version! The movie took way to long I thought and the ending was just plain confusing and stupid. They added so many possibilties but it all failed in a jumble mess. The ending spelled a sequel, which i’m not really anticipating.

While it’s not the worst horror remake ever made, it was the most boring remake i’ve ever witnessed. It could have been PG-13 if they cut down the laungage.

There are actually one or two decent reviews here about the loads of bad and one good thing about this film – so I was hoping to be blown away by the Blu. Bittersweet as this is, there is actually a way to watch this mess and have it all done in less than 15 minutes.

The Blu picture quality is average, with the daytime outdoor shots having the only real clarity. The sound was horribly mixed in post-production (was verified clearly in the supplements) so any scene with music drowns out the dialogue (actually thankfully) and the kills are over-amped. But the supplements have some horrible and some great options, including:

* Behind the scenes, less than 20 minutes. Forgettable insight on how they wanted to make a different kind of horror film, etc.

* Kill Switch – DEFINITE RECOMMENDATION. They fast forward the film to each kill shot for you, all in less than 10 minutes. It skips all of the horrible writing, acting and filming to give you the money shots only.

* Outtakes – funnier than the entire film. If you watch this mix and the kill switch option – you will get the best of both worlds.

* PiP commentary. The girls gave it a valiant try – but they mistakenly inserted this as a less than 20% screen size. Even on a large screen this was too small and essentially it becomes an audio commentary (and this would be the commentary where you WANT to see the people talking).

Region coded A, English & Spanish language with subs in same. A mess of a movie with a bad overall Blu production/product but they made it in such a way that you can tolerate a quick watch.