This movie was the worst cartoon CGI film ever. IT had such a promising cast and crew. I mean Ice Age was hysterical. This was terrible. I mean who would of thought. It had MEl BROOKs. Who can beat that. IT looked funny from the trailer it looked like robin williams was going to be let loose. NOt the case. If it’s in a second run theater and you’re going to see it spare yourself your money. AND if you buy movies just cause they look good save yourself that money. This stinks. It’s a load of horseStinking bugs.

I went to see this movie “Robots” last night with my friend Michael (please see our review for “The Polar Express”). After ten minutes, I found myself unable to get comfortable in what normally would be a very comfortable seat. At first, I couldn’t figure out why. Michael didn’t look my way with a smile even ONCE during this film — in fact, he spent almost the entire movie slumped down in his seat, a stunned expression on his face (what I imagine a shell-shocked soldier must look like). In other words, he looked like I felt.

On the way home, in the darkness of my car, the two of us were completely silent — RELISHING the silence. I finally spoke up and said, “Hope you don’t mind my silence!” Michael said, “No, it’s okay. That was noisy!” We didn’t say another word until I dropped Michael off at the L’Arche home where he lives with five other residents and three assistants – all of whom had been sitting down to dinner when we were leaving — wishing Michael a “good time at the movies” and me a happy birthday (just turned 58).

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This is a film without silences — the ‘polar opposite’ you might say, of “The Polar Express” which uses silences the way a great composer or jazz musician does — that innate sense of taste or the knowledge that . . . what you leave OUT is often as important as what you leave in. “Robots” must surely have had moments of silence – but in the aftermath (my ears are still ringing) I can’t recall them.

My all-time favorite comedian Robin Williams likes to coin two-word phrases (describing, for instance a Southern dialect as “having a vowel movement”). With Robin in mind I hereby mint one of my own, to describe this movie: ‘Ear rape.’

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If you are a mother with children, the analogy I would offer you is this: Imagine spending over an hour and a half locked in a room with noisy — REALLY noisy — toys that you cannot shut off.

If you are a working man, imagine being trapped for an hour and a half in a really noisy environment (think foundry or steel mill).

Prediction: This movie – far from becoming a `classic’ – will have a very short shelf life. I cannot imagine – if you see this on the big screen, (with volume levels you cannot control) ever wanting to see it on your home TV screen — even with the sound turned low.

Come to think of it, I might watch this movie for its visuals, with the sound turned off . . . my favorite music playing in the foreground, (and perhaps some intoxicant in my veins). I believe under such controlled circumstances I could handle seeing this movie again. The unrelenting body humor (machines losing arms and legs — `slapstick’ is what we older folks used to call this) eventually strikes most everyone as funny.

And the five minute roll of credits at the movie’s end (Michael and I always stay to watch the credits and are always the only ones left in the theatre) credit hundreds of no-doubt talented people who may have worked hard to make this a VISUAL treat.

But you know what? The funniest bit of animation isn’t a part of the movie proper: It’s five minutes of animated fun BEFORE “Robots” begins.

Remember the little “Ice Age” creature we’ve seen before? — the tiny, grey, sort of combination cat and fox (and something else) delivers its own brand of agonizing humor: It hangs upside down to an ice-covered outcropping, clinging by its fingernails (even by its tongue, frozen to the ice) . . . risking death-by-falling-into-an-abyss – just to retrieve its ACORN! Now THAT was funny!