It was never funny. You are the music in Me was WACK. And the dialogue bored me to tears. Ashley, Zac, Vanessa, Corbin and Lucas, spare me you has-beens. Zac and Vanessa are one of the hottest couples I’ve ever seen in my entire life but that still doesn’t mean that they don’t participate in the creation of fodder-filled products!

I hate how these celebrities make money from these brainless adults and the no-talent-loving children who support this corporately-kiddy pappy pap. I don’t understand how these teens (besides Zac (20?) and Ashley, who’s she’s freaking 22 already!) just perform other people’s crappy tunes. Ugh.

I am SO tired of them all. Corbin writes about Homework (*LOL*) and Vanessa coos her way through R&B-wannabe Pop tart music. And did you HEAR her sing that terrible song when she broke up with Zac and was on a bridge or something?? It made my ears wince in pain. She’s a crappy singer, and I don’t know who she had to make out with to get a record deal but she really, REALLY needs to step up her game and at least co-write 2 or 3 songs to get an ounce of my respect.

I HATE all of you (minus Zac) and wish you would go away.

The sooner the very better!

Acting: D

Cover Art: B+ (the only thing decent about the movie whatsoever)

Story: D+ (cliché-ridden)

Characters: C- (LOL)

Length: D- (110 minutes too long)

Overall: D-

2/5 or

2 stars.

Parents: on the surface, HSM 2 impersonates a virtuous, family-friendly vehicle which spares your children from unhealthy influences and suggestions (promiscuous/premarital/swinging sex, drugs, gangs, alcohol, violence), but after fair and balanced analysis, it ONLY LOOKS that way. Beneath its surface of bubble-gum “innocence” and triviality lies a hotbed of SIN (both mortal, venial) that the malevolent liberals who monopolize the entertainment world are hiding from you in plain sight, but still selling to your kids. No fear, however!!!! I’ve done all the grueling, analytical work, in place of lazy and careless parents who don’t give a damn, to outline precisely all the SINS in HSM 2 so you parents can shield your kids from this hostile influence.

Under the fiendish guise of promoting to teens activities that are healthy and the opposite of the destructive influences usually peddled on teens from our liberal media and pop culture, HSM 2 endorses dancing!!!! It’s not just dancing…it’s the even more effeminate mischief of Broadway-style musical numbers and the uncontrollable urge to break out in show tunes at horridly timed places all over the movie. Because of this severely emasculating element, HSM 2 runs the risk of potentially turning some formerly male, teen viewers into you-know-whats.

Mark my words: HSM 2 and movies like it are really a clandestine, feminist plan to emasculate what little “maleness” our modern society still has left!!!! For goodness sake, if you don’t know, Zac Efron (Troy) even unabashedly wears makeup in real life–just look at his bizarre, coifed appearance at premieres. Intellectually honest people will readily admit that America in the 21st century is already on its way to being turned into a limp-wristed society due to all the women who “whip” their men. Well, HSM 2 takes that feminist ideology and targets it to impressionable, male teens. Where male teens ought to have their masculinity encouraged by developing their leadership, athleticism and self-reliance, HSM 2 schemes to take this away from them, especially with all the Zac Efron singing and dancing.

A misdirected fantasy among some parents is HSM 2 encourages kids to develop their talents and “be themselves” (even if that “self” is rather effeminate!). However, look more analytically and you’ll find HSM 2 actually promotes nothing but materialism and superficial attractiveness which are bane for a society, because one should ideally judge people by their character, not how they look or how great their clothes are.

As such, HSM 2 is a catastrophic, ethical abuser in that its young “stars” are marketed in the roles of their characters as perfectly groomed; into the latest, trendy fashions; and more attractive than you’ll find in run-of-the-mill high schools all over the US (trust me, I check out teens in high schools always). The Corbin Blue and Efron characters dress like little, perfect models straight out of the Abercrombie and Finch catalogues (oops, my bad: Corbin Blue would be excluded since he’s not white!)!!!! The worst offending characters as it concerns proselytizing kids with messages about materialism are Sharpay and Ryan. They snidely prance around in their Juicy Couture and Ralph Loren Polo, respectively, which makes kids of lesser socio-economic backgrounds feel worthless. Hasn’t Disney yet learned that they should shield teens from the harsh reality of unequal income backgrounds and instead feed them unrealistic propaganda to make sure their feelings are spared??!!

Perhaps, just perhaps…the most affronting contravention is the shocking amount of F-L-E-S-H that HSM 2′s nubile and supple, teen actors expose and brandish as they skimpily bound around the screen in mock perkiness, which sees their corresponding body parts bouncing along. For an allegedly wholesome movie, HSM 2 showcases many young, coming-of-age girls who wear bathing suits and sleeveless/strapless outfits!!!! Parents, it gets much worse as some of these same, nubile girls who are hopefully still virgins in real life show cleavage–and this movie’s targeted to tweens!!!! WTF?!?!

Yet another area of discomfort relates to Troy and Gabriella’s rebelliousness throughout the film! Is Disney plotting to glorify teen disobedience of rules and authority, or what? I’m talking about Troy and Gabriella breaking country club rules by going skinny dipping in the pool at night, though they well know staff members are prohibited from such mischief! I’m also talking about the same, two characters picnicking on the golf course when they know trouble awaits them if discovered!!!!

In closing, I just must express my distaste at the real-life, personal turmoil that one of the most horrid examples to young kids and people in general exhibits. I’m, clearly, pointing my righteous finger at Vanessa Hudgens who earlier this year was divulged as a sexual miscreant for salaciously posing nude in pictures which got leaked onto the internet!!!! Parents, this is the vulgar fetishist whom you are allowing to “entertain” your kids!!!! For my part, I’m boycotting Disney until they fire Hudgens for being a fallen “role model” to kids everywhere; in fact, I’m not letting ANY KIDS (even other people’s) see HSM 2 out of protest.