this movie is diturbing and weird. It doesn’t make sense at all, boaring, dull, nothing happens. Unrealistic and not fun for kids.0 STARS!!!!

(Note: I do not own this version. I am commenting on the movie itself.)

When I was young, many movies like this were quite popular – especially if you were of the female persuasion. Samson and Sally, Seabert the Seal, The Little Fox – all titles running alongside each other and carrying the same message: FOUR LEGS GOOD! TWO LEGS BAAAAHHHD!! – and Ferngully is no exception – it just happens to be drawn a little better.

The title alone should be a red flag; Ferngully the *last* rain forest. This ‘film’ was released during the height of the “OH NOES! WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF FORESTS!” especially pertaining to the rain forest. At that time (much like the ‘new and improved’ global warming) scientists were concerned that – because the rain forest regulated the atmosphere (somewhat true, though this was partly debunked as most forests effect the atmosphere) – destruction of the rain forest would cause the world to blow up, catch on fire, roll around in broken glass, and become a smack-addicted solar prostitute. One should note that these forests were being cut down because certain countries were developing that needed land, lumber, and the sale of lumber to feed their families.. but we all know that hyoomans are teh eavils so it doesn’t matter… as long as I can have MY Starbucks.

Anyways… this movie pretty much encapsulates the insane spirit of the neo-hippie movement of the 90′s. Cute little fairies and animals are happy and dancing in their magical forest of love and cheap pot when a bi-polar aspie bat who is a massive fan of cranial intrusion falls out of the sky. Crysta (the protagonist and head burnout)is both amused and disturbed by the sing-song way Batty communicates when he does too many whippits and decides to make batty her chuaffeur, as she is way too stoned to fly.

Meanwhile, some greedy corporation ( also see D:< ) decides that trees attract hippies and begins to cut them down and turn them into sawdust. When this fails to bring down a blue skinned green mulleted twink from the sky to share in their bear-on-bear action, they call Tim Curry. Still in gelatinous form after a long night of drinking and trying to avoid RHPS thespian trannies, Curry awakes to a clear cut forest. This is good, for it will allow Tim to find all of the Purple Nurple Liquid Roller Mellow Rainbow Sunset Snoopy Redhair that he was promised in return for showing up to this crap movie. He rejoices by sexually molesting our ear-holes.

One day, while rolling around in her own filth and enjoying a tab of liquid sunshine, Crysta falls in curious with [INSERT DISNEY SENSITIVE-YET-STRONG UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION HERE...we'll call him Dudebra]. Luckily for her, Dudebrah has always fantasized about a sexual encounter with a macro otherkin and also falls into curious with Crysta. Unfortunately, the contact high of fairy-licking made Dudebra shrink, thus eliminating the possibilities of fully realizing his macrophilia. He is then introduced to all of Crysta’s commune friends who descend upon him in a cloud of armpit crystals and pure unadulterated lust.

After several hours, Crysta realizes that she is out of shrooms and goes to search the forest for some more. During this outing, the second half of her high kicks in, leading her to hear the trees crying. Lost and confused in the forest, Crysta collapses. Three days later, her family finally locates the commune where she has been staying and immediately take her home – away from the temptations of drugs, art school, and cutting. Oh yeah – and she can make vines grow from her hands and heal flowers with her mind. They end up defeating Tim Curry with magic ivy +5 of holy smite, grow back the forest with love (although seeds work just as well) then go back to being the petal-wearing freegan commune hippies they were to begin with.

FIN.

The art looks like it was spit out of every other animation mill of the early 90′s. The songs are terribly dated, the propaganda is EXTREMELY OBVIOUS, and the plot has so many holes you could strain pasta through it.

I gave it two stars because it’s a great movie to put on a party for pure WTF responses.